…

I need to start running again. I have a plan setup, one that I can sustain for a long time, I think. Yesterday, we went to these hot springs, and I don’t know - I felt like I did when I went on the cruise. Just like, I never work out. I don’t “need” to lose weight, but I really could. During my half training, I got down to 145, which I doubt I had been that low since end of high school or the beginning of college. I’m still in good shape, but I haven’t been eating well. And it just makes me mad at myself. I did all this work to actually look fit and be fit, and now I just wasted it all. I hate this photo we took of all of us - the one without me is much better. I hate that.

I almost lost my phone at the hot springs too. It barely got wet at all, but the side with two open cavities was slightly under water. So my speakers were messed up and didn’t work - kind of a problem when you want to hear and speak on the phone. That corrected itself, after drying and some cleaning. But the charging port is clearly shorted a bit - I have to plug and unplug several times before my phone finally starts to charge. And it always says “charging” which is an issue - I’ll never know what level my battery is at without going into the battery section of system settings. I tried to not let it show, but I was so mad at myself. I made a point to get my phone, bring it down, over water and slick rocks, to take a photo that I ended up hating. And losing my phone would be awful. I take it with me everywhere. I don’t “need it” - I use technology a lot but it’s not a crutch, I don’t need it. But at the same time, losing it would be devastating. I know how much more efficient I am with it. It’s a tool that if I lost, I’d suffer. And I use it to keep in touch with my friends, and without that with me, I don’t know how I’d feel. Isolated. When I thought it was broken, I was really upset. I don’t think I showed it, but it really bothered me. I’m still mad I was that stupid. Take the damn photo someplace out of the water, you idiot.

I hate the excitement, the “I told you so!” and the “You will all regret this, you idiots” attitudes that today’s SCOTUS decision on healthcare brings out of people. You can have an opinion, and you should use that to vote - after finding out as much information as possible. But the second you think you understand it all perfectly, and take it upon yourself to “educate” someone on why they are wrong, you’re missing the point. I read a friend’s facebook status that said something along the lines of “days like today remind me to update my friends list more often” - really? You mean, if someone disagrees with you, you don’t want to be friends with them? Or, at the least, you don’t want to see their ideas? Maybe she’s referring to people that violently complain and preach about how they are right, but I doubt it. It’s that attitude, that “if you don’t agree with me you must be stupid” that ruins everything in this world. And I’ve never understood it. It’s just an idea, and an opinion on an idea. Disagree with it, but don’t get so angry and bitter.

CNN should be pretty embarrassed, and I know they are. That’s just bad. I bet they had two headlines queued, and just hit the wrong one. Or just a wrong source. Whatever the case, it’s bad. But you know what’s worse? Bloomberg News saying (and posting screenshots as proof) that they beat the AP to the story by 40 some seconds. Just shut up. The fact that you think that 40 seconds should count for something, and matters, is embarrassing. Report the news, and report it clearly, fully, and correctly. Yes, you want to be first, but being better should be the goal, not first. And if its within the same few minutes, no one cares. The OMG WE HAVE TO BE FIRST attitude is a major problem, and it’s why CNN finds itself in the position it is in now. Stop.

I really want qdoba, but I’m going to try and eat well.

One thing I’ve thought about these past few weeks, and decided, is that I am still very much a shy person. I used to say “I used to be really shy” - no. I still am. I’m better at dealing with it and sticking my neck out. But damn I’m still shy. That’s one reason why I get so frustrated when people don’t just talk and be honest about how they feel. Yeah, you’re nervous, well so am I and I find a way to do it. I may not do it well, but I do it. I understand though. But it’s still frustrating. You never know what’s going on with them, so it’s hard to just let it go. I want to understand, and… well you really can’t. You can make an assumption that it’s something like what you are feeling, and they just have stuff going on, or some reason for being like that, but then there’s always the thought that, hey, maybe they just don’t want to talk to you. It sucks. That probably doesn’t make any sense.

I want a vacation. I want to go explore. This all sucks. I seriously have no one to go with. Every time I think I do, something comes up. I have places I want to go: SF, New Orleans, Toronto, NYC, Boston (eh…), Carolinas, Austin, Yosemite, Tahoe, Vegas… but honestly, if someone wanted to go somewhere and wanted me to go with them, I’d go. I just want to go somewhere with fun people. I want to eat new places. I want to walk around. I want to take photos. I don’t want to just go an party 24/7. I like to eat and talk. I hate that all we seem to do is go and drink at noisy and crowded bars. Last night was a lot of fun. But I hate doing that every night. It’s a waste of money and energy. And I’d just rather talk. And damn it, I like food. So few people really like food. It sucks.

Done.